12/24/2009
We are called to build the human family
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 | Mary Jo Tully
Chancellor, Archdiocese of Portland |
Holy Name of Jesus, Mary and Joseph
1 Samuel 1:20-22,24-28
1 John 3:1-2, 21-24
Luke 2:41-52
As we mature, memory and imagination seem to merge and our stories about both parents and siblings become idealized versions of family life. What is factual about my family is that we never resembled the Waltons or the Cleavers. What is true is that my memories are filled with the love and support that only a family can offer. That does not change the fact that my brothers and sisters were colossal nuisances when we were children or that my mother’s and father’s wisdom only became apparent after our teenage years passed. The value of those most intimate experiences with family members who were foisted on me rather than chosen was something I learned to appreciate only a good deal later. Family life has never lived up to the hopes and expectations of society.
Today’s society struggles with the meaning of family. The idealized version of the past of mother, father and 2.5 children is certainly not the norm. Neither does DNA always determine the real parent or parents. Relationship does. As time goes on, we discover that “parent” is a verb.
It is not difficult to imagine the fright of Mary and Joseph when Jesus appeared lost. Many parents have had similar “department store” memories. Imagine what it would be to lose your child for three days. There were no “Amber alerts.” There was no way to Twitter someone in another caravan. If today’s Gospel says nothing else, it reassures us that it has never been easy to be 12 years old nor has it ever been only pleasure-filled to be a parent. Most children mature too late to satisfy themselves and too early to please their parents.
It was difficult for Jesus’ parents to let him make decisions. We, too, would like to protect our children and keep them from making what we believe are mistakes. We fear that they might be hurt before they have the physical and emotional defenses that will enable them to heal. Like Mary, countless parents all over the world keep their memories in their hearts and can only watch their children mature.
Being a family means discovering the love we share is worth the pain entailed in “making room” for one another. To be a family is to be accountable to each other. It takes a lot of loving to make the pressure of living together acceptable. We can schedule the use of the bathroom, but we cannot program illness. We can write a family budget but we cannot plan unemployment.
This is the caring for one another to which all humankind is called. It is concern for those in pain, in trouble and in need. It is rejoicing in the good fortune of others and grieving with them when things are not going well.
At this Eucharist, those of us who share faith accept the challenge to build the human family.
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